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I love reading all these other people's weird things they've heard confessed. Good writer's block.

Mine are not weird, but I guess kinda big things. I've had the same person confess to me that she has cheated on her boyfriend (with her ex) and had an abortion (not from the ex, this was a seperate confession prior to the cheating).

Before my other friend came out to everyone, I was one of the first people he confessed he was gay to.

I am definitly one of those people everyone tells everything to, and I like it cuz I like knowing stuff. In my case though I am pretty private and rarely devulge info about myself, unless I really want advice on something. I don't just tell for the sake of telling.
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Definitly nail biting. I've been doing it since I was a kid. I will find myself unconsiously doing it whenever I am stressed out or bored. I know I could break this habit too, I just need to really put my mind to it.

-Procrastination and being lazy. I don't know why, because both make me feel awful, both mentally and physically, and I always feel better once I do stuff, so I don't know why its so hard for me to make myself just do it.
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So work dramz (what else is new, except that is actually involves me), my ASM and I pretty much hate each other. She's an RMT (an outside hire, didn't promote up from barista to shift to ASM) who sucks at her job and is totally catty. She talks about me behind my back, saying I am not "cheerful" and that apparently some other store in our district claims I am a bitch. Considering I know one person from the store she is talking about, and I am pretty much friends with that person, I figure its her way of calling me a bitch but not outright aka she hides behind her stupid store saying it story. Anyway, I honestly don't even care cuz I am leagues above her in doing this job well, everyone at my store likes me better than her, and her life in general sounds pathetic. Other than having a good body (cuz she exercises a lot) she doesn't have much going for her. Also she flirts relentlessly with all the male customers, I think she's gone without for quite awhile. I have a huge list of things that she does wrong (some of which could get her in serious trouble) so if she pisses me off enough I plan on showing it to my SM and possibly my DM. I predict she won't last past the summer, or if anything tiff will break her come September.

Other than that stupidness just been working. I think I have a mild crush on my drum teacher haha. He's got a dorky cute thing going on, plus a cool musician thing and he's just the nicest guy. But he's married with a little girl and yeah.... its harmless, but he's cool.

I have this weekend off (working tomorrow insted of Sunday), I plan on cleaning like whoa and having me time. Rachel is going to Mike's for the weekend and Simon is working. I plan on cleaning, going to the gym, maybe shopping a bit (need to buy certain things) and getting rid of the rest of my old clothes.

So yes...daily life carries on.
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My childhood best friend was Tasha Penney. We were friends from senior kindergarden til grade 7 when she decided she'd rather be in the "cool" group than be friends with me. So she dumped me for them. At the end of grade 8 she wrote in my yearbook that she was sorry about what happened. Then I remember randomly in grade 9 seeing her at the subway station and we talked for about an hour. She's on Facebook and some of my mutual friends have her as a friend, but I don't. I doubt I will ever add her, if she added me though I guess I'd accept it. I think she is a nurse at St. Mike's hospital in Toronto right now. She's still friends with those same people she dumped me for, but whatever. It would've been pretty awesome to say you had a friend since you were 5, but I guess thats a pretty rare thing.
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I can't live with or without you
Thats pretty much how I feel it is overall.
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Yep. My boyfriend was my former assistant manager at Starbucks. I was a barista, so we had to keep it hush hush until he transferred to another store. We were really good about keeping things normal at work though. But we're still together, and its been over 5 years now. We both also still work at Starbucks, except different stores and he is now a manager and I am a supervisor.
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[Error: unknown template qotd] a crippling amount. All I do is plan for the future, constantly thinking and rethinking how I want each year to go in my head. Because I have very specific things I want to do, mostly concerning travel, and I need to be prepared to do them at very specific times. But yes, its daunting sometimes and it does affect my ability to live in the present. But right now the present is so unsatisifying, so looking towards the future is sometimes the only thing that keeps me going.
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Yeah I would get weirdly obsessed with certain movies and watch them over and over again. I remember really loving Space Jam for some godawful reason. I watched the Nostaglia Critic's Space Jam review and realized just how commercialized that movie was. It was basically just a glorified advertisement for Nike.

Another movie I was extremely obsessed with, meaning I literally watched it every single day (no joke) one summer was Jumanji. I LOVED this movie. Again, it steamed out of nowhere and I was obsessed, but only for that one summer.
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I've got two. The first one without a doubt was the time I got rejected from entering the United States. It was my first real time travelling alone. I was taking the Greyhound from Toronto to San Fransisco to visit my uncle. I was 18 and not too savvy to travel. When I got to the border the border patrol asked me a bunch of questions, and one was "are you looking for work?" Me being the idiotic 18 year old that I was said "yes". I meant in Toronto, he thought I meant in the United States. So they wouldn't let me through. I had to stay in Windsor, Ontario until 1am (I think it was mid-afternoon when this happened) to take a bus back to Toronto. I was so upset and wanted to swear off travel. The next day though my mom's boyfriend convinced me to give it another shot, and he drove me to a different border stop in Michigan. We got in pretending we were going to some Ba'hai (he studies this religion) thing lol. Anyways, that was traumatic, but at least I got into the USA and eventually got to California. Even now whenever I enter the USA by Greyhound I get really nervous.

My second worst thing was losing my wallet in Rome, Italy. I was with my two friends, and it was disgustingly hot so we decided to sit in this park for a bit. For some dumb reason I took out my wallet and was kinda reorganizing all my money (I had British pounds, Euros, Canadian money etc.) and I think what happened was I put the wallet down and forgot it there. It wasn't until we were at a resturant having authentic Italian pizza did I realize my wallet was gone. We ran all the way back to the park (it was a good 30 minutes away) and it wasn't there. I remember my friend Beth telling me to be careful in Rome because people steal your wallet easily and I remember trying to keep an eye on my stuff and I still lost it. I don't believe it got stolen, I think it was just a dumb thing I did, but who knows. Anyways, my mom had to Western Union me money while I was in Venice, and again in Prague because Italy was smack dab in the middle of my month long European vacation and I had no money, no credit cards etc. It was a bit scary and stressful, but in the end it worked out and I still had a fun vacation.

But yes, those are my worst experiences. I still wouldn't give up travelling for anything though.
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Germany. I'm totally in love with Germany. Despite their very messy past, I can't help but adore this country. Its smack-dab in the middle of Europe (so easy access to other parts of Europe), its clean, its affordable. I think German as a language is cool. Even people tell me I look German. So most definitly I would love to somehow been a German.


Sep. 29th, 2009 01:36 pm
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I'm at school right now, in Kelly library, which is right beside my next class that starts in twenty minutes. I think I bombed my German quiz, which makes me upset. But me and this other girl who isn't doing too well talked with our teacher, and we might be able to redo it. I just hate doing badly right at the beginning of the school year. I seriously need to apply myself more to school. I waste too much time online doing dumb shit. I wrote in my agenda all my papers/tests for the year and its fucking scary. I need to stay ontop of shit. This isn't like college, this is actually a challange now.

My German teacher is really nice though, and I found out she is a customer from Front St. haha I knew it. But yeah, I also need to do to be able to go abroad next year hopefully.

I just need to keep track of things, stay ontop of things. I also need to start being a nicer person. I am really mean lately. Espeically to Simon. I am the type of person who takes shit out on other people and its really bad, so I am going to work on that. Oh, and I also need to work more on my 101 list. I did think I accomplished some things though.

13. Find a hair colour and cut that I really love that suits me.
Shoulder length, multi-tone blonde with bangs. I will take a pic one day, but I like it.

16. Find out about what make-up suits me.
Basically I wanted a look that didn't look like you had too much make-up on. So I use black mascera, either purple or copper eyeliner (cuz eyeliner is my new love), concealer for my dark circles/zits and powder. Overall it makes me look decent/not dead to the world.

100. Buy an awesome pair of boots.
Yesterday I bought a pair of nice leather mid-calf boots. They look rad.
I also bought a multi-coloured dress from Urban Outfitters.

I need to start working on the more productive/meaningful aspects of the list. I really, really wanna learn to drive, but the stupid driving centre's are still on strike.

Anyways, thats about it...class soon.

Edit: Oh yeah, I forgot I also got a new SIN card, so there is another to add to the list.
90. Get a new SIN card
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Ok so this actually going to be a public journal entry, just so I won't forget where it is, I'm probably going to make it a memory as well. So I'm sure you guys have heard of that community 101 Things in 1001 Days. Pretty much you write 101 goals you wanna accomplish in just under three years. I'm really big on lists, love them. So I wanna give this a shot.

So my start date is June 23rd 2009 and my finish date will be March 20th 2012.

Anyways, so here is my list, I'm probably going to write down a list and keep it in my room too. I'm going to put stuff in order.

1. Study abroad in Australia at one point.
2. Visit my cousin in Ireland once she moves there for med school.
3. Take a train to San Fransisco to visit my uncle again and then bus it down to L.A.
4. Do Semester at Sea.
5. Roadtrip the U.S.A.
6. Get a job abroad.
7. Live in Germany for at least a month.
8. Go to Las Vegas.
9. See a concert in another city.
10. Throw a dart at a map and take a random roadtrip there in Ontario.

Health and Beauty
11. Get down between 135lbs -140lbs or size 8, whatever comes first.
12. Become a vegetarian for one month.
13. Find a hair colour and cut that I really love that suits me.
14. Use whitestrips everyday.
15. Take a mulitvitamin everyday for at least a month.
16. Find out about what make-up suits me.
17. Run a 5k.
18. Exercise at least 3x a week.

Family and Friends
19. Hang out with my brother more.
20. Look up my ancestry.
21. Become closer with my dad.
22. Visit my nanny once a month.
23. Forget people who don't matter and focus on the ones who do.
24. Be social at least 3x a week.

25. Learn the drums or violin.
26. Paint another picture.
27. Make a webcomic.
28. Finish a short story.
29. Be in a play again.
30. Make a zine.
31. Learn to dance.
32. Do NaNoWriMo.
33. Go to a Yoga class.
34. Knit something.
35. Take pictures in an abandoned place.
36. Make my own t-shirt.
37. Learn to read tarot.
38. Do a "Day in the Life of Me" photo day.
39. Buy artwork.

40. Get an A- average at U of T.
41. Take steps towards going to Grad school.
42. Learn more French.
43. Learn German.
44. Learn Japanese.
45. Take a random class for the fun of it.
46. Take a folklore course.

Good Things
47. Give blood.
48. Volunteer somewhere

49. Read 50 books in a year.
50. Host a game night.
51. Have a slumber party.
52. Go to a comedy club.
53. Go see a random band in concert based on the appeal of their name.
54. Find ten new bands I like within a year.
55. Watch 100 movies in a year.
56. Go to a weird diner in the USA.
57. Play paintball.
58. Go surfing.
59. See a show on broadway.
60. Have a kickass party.
61. Finish ten video games or more in a year.
62. Finish ten animes or more in a year.
63. Watch scary movies everyday in the month of October leading up to Halloween.
64. Explore parts of Toronto I never go to.
65. Complete a crossword book.
66. Go on a picnic.
67. Bowl 200 in bowling.
68. Do something fun on St. Patrick's Day.
69. Go camping.
70. Host a poker night.

71. Get a scholarship.
72. Win a contest.
73. Win money playing Bingo.
74. Pay off my audit debt.
75. Put a loonie in a jar everyday for a year.

Things that affect and are important to me
76. Have a meaningful moment with a stranger.
77. Be able to wear something really sexy and feel it.
78. Have laser eye surgery.
79. Stop feeling embarassed about dumb things.
80. Stop letting things upset me that don't matter.
81. Become engaged.

Random Things
82. Join a team.
83. Learn to cook.
84. Bake something.
85. Learn to drive.
86. Make over my bedroom.
87. Get a better laptop.
88. Get a tattoo.
89. Stop biting my nails.
90. Get a new SIN card.
91. Go have a full spa treatment.
92. Donate old clothes.
93. Buy sexy lingerie.
94. Find the perfect pair of jeans.
95. Be an extra in a movie.
96. Eat exotic food.
97. Back up my LJ.
98. Ride a horse.
99. Become a regular at a coffee shop.
100. Buy an awesome pair of boots.
101. Write an LJ entry for every goal I complete.
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Matthew Good Band: Running For Home

They beam things into your head
the ghosts of your pleasure and contempt
when we were liars things were seamless
when we were wired the world was like a secret
i close my eyes now and i scream
i turn the light on and there's nothing left redeeming
i saw your face before it changed
the gun it makes you look nicer in a bad way

so low for how high?

well it's too late tonight
and i'm sure you're right
as low for how high

and after this there's just the circus
and every morning you carnie heart stops workin
it gets tight in there sometimes
looking for the defects, talking like it's a reflex
i close my mouth now and i scream
i open the door and there's nothing left redeeming
i saw your face before the rough
you should wait around awhile cause your body's bound to turn up

so low for how high?
well it's too late tonight
and i'm sure you're right
as low for how high

I downloaded this Matthew Good Band song after Meiwaku suggested it to me. I immediately loved it. Its a beautiful song, I reccomend anyone to download this or anything by the Matthew Good Band. They were a good Canadian band...too bad they broke up. All the good bands here like Matthew Good Band, Joydrop and The Tea Party are never known outside of here meanwhile crap like Our Lady Peace becomes popular. Feh, they were ok in the beginning but they really suck now. :\

Anyways I think this is just a really nice song.


Jul. 16th, 2008 10:41 am
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I do not have a lot of time so some things.

1. Venice is so beautiful and I fell in love with it. We only stayed two days, but I will definitly return one day.

2. Budapest is cool, but we did not spend enough time here, so I am sads.

3. Going to Prague really soon aka a couple of hours.

4. Probably skipping Germany and going straight to Amsterdam due to a lack of funds. Not really upset since I went to Germany last year anyways.

5. May be back in Toronto by Wednesday, we shall see.

6. If I do not make it to a computer in time, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN! LOVE YA!

Gotta go.
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1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship?
Long distance.

2. When was the last time you showered?
Today at around 4pm.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Watching Criss Angel: Mindfreak with Simon.

5. Are you any good at math?
Hells no.

6. Your prom night?
Didn't care enough to go.

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
I don't think so.

8. Have you ever taken out a loan for school?
I'm currently trying to.

9. Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile?
MySpace sucks.

10. Last thing received in the mail?
junk mail.

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
water...thats pretty much it.

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines?
Yeah, I actually prefer to get an answering machine since I hate talking on the phone.

13. Who did you lose your concert virginity to?
New Kids on the Block. *tumblweed*

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
I rarely go to the beach

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
A cavity filled...though I need my wisdom teeth out eventually.

16. What is out your backyard?
I have no backyard.

17. Any plans for Friday night?
Working 11am to 4pm. idea.

18. Do you like the ocean?
From what I've seen, I like.

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?
Actually yes.

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Pretty sure I went to one on a school trip.

22. Something you are excited about?

23. What is your favourite flavor of JELLO?
Not a fan of JELLO.

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?

25. Describe your keychain:
I don't have one.

26. Where do you keep your change?
At the bottom of my purse.

27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?

28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
A dark gray pea coat.

29. What was the weather like on your graduation?
It was cold since for some weird reason I didn't have my graduation until November of the year I graduated.

30. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
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If I had to pick a song to sum up my whole life I'd pick this one by the Smashing Pumpkins. I think the lyrics are amazing.

Smashing Pumpkins

i fear that i am ordinary, just like everyone
to lie here and die among the sorrows
adrift among the days
for everything i ever said
and everything i've ever done is gone and dead
as all things must surely have to end
and great loves will one day have to part
i know that i am meant for this world
my life has been extraordinary
blessed and cursed and won
time heals but i'm forever broken
by and by the way...
have you ever heard the words
i'm singing in these songs?
it's for the girl i've loved all along
can a taste of love be so wrong
as all things must surely have to end
and great loves will one day have to part
i know that i am meant for this world
and in my mind as i was floating
far above the clouds
some children laughed i'd fall for certain
for thinking that i'd last forever
but i knew exactly where i was
and i knew the meaning of it all
and i knew the distance to the sun
and i knew the echo that is love
and i knew the secrets in your spires
and i knew the emptiness of youth
and i knew the solitude of heart
and i knew the murmurs of the soul
and the world is drawn into your hands
and the world is etched upon your heart
and the world so hard to understand
is the world your can't live without
and i knew the silence of the world

Sad Ducky

Mar. 13th, 2002 12:10 am
millionbubbles: (Default)

Aw, cheer up little ducky. Why so glum?

Find your inner rubber ducky.

Makes sense right now I feel pretty sad. I just got an email from someone close to me that made me pretty sad. I guess what he wrote is true, I have been in denial about a lot of things lately. I tend to close myself off from people and try with all my might to avoid real problems hoping that they will go away. Not that I'm saying he is a problem but our relationship is less then perfect at the moment.

I don't know what to really do anymore, I really don't want to hurt him, I hate when I make people sad and I really hate when I hurt people, especially one's close to me. But I guess it's unavoidable in a situation like this. I know you'll read this and I just want to say I'm sorry I hurt you, I never meant to act the way I do around you, but I don't think I can change right now I think I need some time to sort things out on my own, I just hope you won't hate me in the end.

*Sigh* that's all for now.
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It's 3am waiting for dka to get back from school and get online. Lousy time difference, he lives in Australia and me in Toronto so I'm usually up very late talking to him but it's all good cause I'm more of a night person anyways. I'm waiting so I can give him this hilarious video I made with my webcam, I made it for him for our three month engagement. It's a hoot I think he'll get a kick out of it. While I'm waiting I'll amuse myself with some more of those little tests.

I took the What Mythological Creature Are you? test by
[ profile] peacefulchaos !

Cool, I like Gryphon's. ^_^

If I was an Autobot, I'd be:

Click to see what Autobot you could be!

Take the Transformers personality test at!

Never watched this show but meh.

You're Heero yuy!

Find out Which Gundam Wing character you are.

Sounds like me, I like Heero the best even though I barely watch Gundam Wing.

Ok anyways that's enough tests for now.

I'll just sit here and wait I hope he comes online soon.

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Your Results:

You were male in your last earthly incarnation.

You were born somewhere around the territory of what is now know as modern Turkey, approximately in the year 825.

Your profession was: handicraftsman, mechanic.

A brief psychological profile of you in that past life:
You always liked to travel, to investigate, could have been detective or spy.

A lesson that your last past life wishes you to learn in your present life is:
Development and expansion of your mental consciousness. Find good teacher, spend a part of your time and energy on his wisdom.

Damn I was a guy. oh well.:\ The rest of it is pretty interesting though especially the spy part, and the mechanic part since I lean more towards arts then sciences.
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